Every celebrity is a cloud of meaning making; meaning that is irreducibly them and us. It’s hard to remember when last a celebrity warranted the attention lavished on Adam Lambert – and warrant it he does. Something unusual has happened here, the meaning of which is both fascinating and a joy to untangle.

First, apologies to Mr. Lambert: yes, I get that a lot of this has nothing to do with you. On the other hand, a lot of it does and in a very inspiring way. From behind your eyes, and to your infinite credit, you “get” lots of what you’re doing here. But there are some structures that you don’t see and couldn’t see precisely because of where you are – behind your eyes. Part of the meaning cloud is your audience’s creation. But you have used every ounce of staggering sultriness to ask us to dance. And dancing we are.

Newsweek columnist Joan Raymond confessed that neither she, nor many of her middle-aged “cougar” friends could stop thinking about Adam. (http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/popvox/archive/2009/06/10/why-cougars-crave-idol-runner-up-adam-lambert.aspx) Yep, and as a cougar with thirty years of mindfulness practice, I’m watching exactly how this young man is affecting me inwardly. He’s been a soundtrack for my dreaming. His subtle energetic power is clearly formidable, and, I’m happy to say, that when Adam plays as a background task I find my foreground more optimistic, more willing to risk, my committed to giving and, as with many, more horny. I’ll let the horniness obscure the energetic complexity here (as Newsweek did) for a moment and then return to deeper issues – there’s a lot more going on.

The idea that androgyny is bland is as insulting as it is inaccurate. Fascinating that Monsieur Lambert has struck such a cord with boomer women, but it’s not just boomers who find this manifestation of sexual life force utterly compelling. Women everywhere are jockeying for position to be Adam’s witty and cherished BFF, or as Michelle Collins of MTV’s Best Week Ever gushed in a smart, sweet and hilarious interview with Adam, “If you need a surrogate, I’m here.” (http://www.bestweekever.tv/2009/05/28/the-adam-lambert-interview-that-will-change-your-life/) On 20/20, Adam even admitted to being a little bi-curious. Hang in there, Michelle.

Folks, this hot kind of androgyny is what a lot of us were looking for. We weren’t asking men to suppress their life force, for god’s sake, just not to use it to dominate and repress women. (And let me clarify: I’m talking about the domination or submission that is the subject of awareness. Playing with dominance and submission – particularly in sex – as an object of awareness is a completely different story.) Ever wondered why evolved women are such notorious and proud fag-hags? This kind of androgyny glorifies women without diminishing men. What women thankfully cherish in their gay boy friends is that sexuality isn’t a zero sum game; womanliness doesn’t diminish manliness or vice versa. It just all overflows as a giant volcano of eros. Bring it on, baby. Gay boys are sexy to women because they’re equally as uninterested in dominating women as they are in sucking up to them. The history of heterosexual politics falls away in our intimacy and play. I love my gay boy friends. We don’t worry about who goes the guy stuff or who does the girl stuff we both do both and I know a lot of women who crave this “bothness” in a primary relationship.

Adam-otopia is deeply sexy; erotic in the most profound sense of awakening and moving the life force toward that which is higher, clearer and stronger. I’m not too proud to feel – in this particular pop culture moment – infinite light hitting my grateful skin. I’ve been thinking about this for a while: what does it look like when a person exhibits mastery of skills that have been traditionally assigned to women and mastery of skills traditionally assigned to men?

Adam’s got skills that are taught more to girls: emotional connection, the people-pleasing smile, the sweetness and an unyielding supportiveness, even with competitors. One American Idol vocal coach admonished him to stop giving his competitors such good advice. But he’s also got the skills taught more to guys: he’s utterly strategic, articulate and focused. He’s got the confidence to play with the big kids. There was a delicious moment on AI when mentor Jamie Foxx noticed the equality with Foxx that Adam announced with his demeanor: “You don’t give a shit who I am, do you?” said Foxx. Adam dissolved in laughter but showed no inclination to retract. When Danny Gokey was literally shaking in anticipation of the news of whether he, Kris Allen or Adam had been cut from the top three, Adam was unintimidated.

I have argued in an academic article that easy mastery of both male and female skills is a hallmark of advanced evolution. As Lambert says in Rolling Stone, “I don’t know why our society has such an emphasis on masculinity and femininity – it’s really gross. I don’t think you’re truly sexy until you don’t care about that.” It’s a point that took me twenty-five pages but let’s make it an invocation.

I actually get a little choked up realizing that Adam’s clear blue eyes and broad smile are the reason I did gay rights political work in the 80s – maybe it’s a little sliver of what Jesse Jackson’s felt at the Obama inauguration. Adam’s deflection of a reporter who said, “Do you want to answer the question that’s been dangling over your head?” was sweet, funny and non-acerbic. “It’s not dangling over my head,” said Adam, “It might be dangling over yours…” to which he added in Rolling Stone, “I like things dangling over my head.” It’s a huge victory that we hardly realize any more that it would have been, even twenty years ago, nearly impossible to show this kind of comfort with one’s homosexuality in the middle of such acute mainstream scrutiny.

So, gay rights activists and feminists, (Harvey Milk, would you have just loved this boy?) here’s our baby – sexy, gorgeous, comfortable in his skin, a master of many things both traditionally female and traditionally male and even Jewish. Madre de dios! Even better when he and AI champ Kris Allen (to Allen’s great credit) chose to double-handedly defuse the culture wars. Allen, a devout Christian, is seen as completely comfortable both accepting the hugs of his homosexual transgressive friend and also initiating a surprise hug during a backstage interview.

And there are more signs that Adam may herald an unusually high stage of evolution. He talks repeatedly about letting his decisions be guided by “who I am.” But he seems to exhibit precisely the paradoxical disidentification with self that seems to come with deep self-knowledge and self-acceptance. Several writers have commented on Lambert’s ability to hear the judges’ critiques with unusual equanimity -- as though doing kaizen on his product. While he clearly loves his theatrics, he seems oddly still at his core, and able to hold his personas lightly and at arm’s length in a way that even intellectual glam-rockers like David Bowie did not. There’s a quality of unattachment in Adam’s theatrics that seem to allow his “real self” to float away, unimpeded. Stranger still is a sense of ebullience and humor behind even his most leatherish, bad-boyish antics that makes me melt in my seat with its sophistication. No wonder us cougars can’t get enough.

Compare Adam’s rendition of “Can’t Get No Satisfaction” (http://www.americanidol.com/videos/season_8/performances/adam_lambert_i_cant_get_no_satisfaction) to our memories of Mick Jagger singing the Stone’s classic. Mick seemed like a seriously unsatisfied guy. For Adam it’s all a smile and a wink and a poke in audience’s ribs: “yeah, there’s a lack of satisfaction and it’s kinda fun to scream about. Let’s scream together and get off on it!”

I’ve even gotten hooked on Adam’s brother Neil’s blog (http://negativeneil.com/); the writing is smooth, succinct, insightful and hilarious with that Jon Stewart-ish sang froid that belies Weltschmerz. Neil describes Adam’s Rolling Stone cover as “lips slightly apart doing his best ‘Which of your kids am I going to defile? Son or daughter?’ face.” Which works as irony since it seems that there’s nothing about Adam’s sexuality that defiles. Compare this to the older generations of rockers: Jagger seems like his sexuality could easily defile; Gene Simmons seems to defile everything in his presence.

And so here’s the reason that I sat down to write this – to unpack why my reaction to Mr. Lambert has been so deep, so complex and…well…so happy.

And I arrive at deep gratitude and awe at the nature of evolution and a deep optimism and appreciation of Adam’s generation. We worked to create an environment where this preternaturally talented, ebullient, strong and strategic being can be comfortable in his own skin. Evolution – particularly feminism and the gay rights movement – seemed to manifest in his gloriously supportive parents and in a context that can revel in the sexiness that is groundbreaking in its combination of androgyny and sweetness. The fact that he is so good with the press – so non-defensive and forthcoming (oddly, even when avoiding the gay question) feels as though it derives from him paradoxically not taking himself particularly seriously and at the same time handling his life and persona with conscious strategy. It’s almost a definition of detached engagement. Adam is what happens as we evolve.

And when I connect with him, listening to his voice or reading interviews, it’s this evolution that is erotic. We made a space for him to evolve and now his evolution inspires us to our best energy. This eros, this horniness runs deep; it vibrates to the very essence of eros in the double meaning of eros as sexual and evolutionary. As Adam puts it, “Sexuality is universal. What’s sexy is sexy!” The feeling of eros pulling loose from its moorings in masculinity and femininity, hetero or homosexuality and launched as self-as-object? A complex and inspiring hotness. Thanks, Adam. You rock.

by
Rebecca Bailin